Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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