I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
