Pappa wants mamma naked
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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