Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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