he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
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