Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
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I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
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Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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