Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
