Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
