when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
