I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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