Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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