Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
