And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
