she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
