well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
