some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
