she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
