my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Help. Why am I so naked?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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