I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
