party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
