69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
