I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
