is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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