I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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