After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
