She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
