420 ftw
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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