The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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