I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
