Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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