if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
