Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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