I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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