"it" just moved
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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