I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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