Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
