Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
