The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
