fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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