Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
