Nicole vs. Life
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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