***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
