somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
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Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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