Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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