I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
