If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Sober January is a disaster.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
