I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He had one of those small greek statue penises
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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