i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
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My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
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I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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