He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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