Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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