i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
