Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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