3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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