You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
