Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
