stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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