I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
