True but thats because hes a fetus.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
