2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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