he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
