I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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